A few weeks ago, a participant said something to me that I hadn't been able to put into words.
"People have always told me I'm too intense. Too direct. Too much of everything."
She wasn't complaining. She was simply stating a fact. With the calm clarity of someone who had long believed that the problem lay with her.
What this woman was describing is something I see in almost every team I coach: people who have learned to make themselves acceptable. To fit into a mold. To perform according to the norms of their environment—at the expense of who they truly are.
Due to a lack of permission. No permission from superiors. No inner permission.
When a team works in synergy, we see Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue. Together, they make up the rainbow of leadership. Not boxes. Mirrors.
Red—the one accused of being too authoritarian? It’s the one that moves forward when everyone else hesitates.
Is the Yellow one considered too talkative? He’s the one who keeps the energy going when the group starts to lose steam.
Do people think the Green Party is too slow? It’s the party that makes sure no one is left behind.
Is the Blue one considered too rigid? He is the one who avoids the mistakes that enthusiasm leads people to make.
No color is a flaw. Each one is a superpower—misunderstood, misused, or simply never named.
The true role of leadership is not to correct people. It is to create the conditions that allow them to be themselves—and for the team to learn how to turn that into a strength.
That day, the participant smiled. Not because I had said something brilliant.
Because she had recognized herself. And that was enough.
